


She must hate me

by GooP_ie



Category: Marvel, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Overthinking, Panic Attack Mention, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie) Spoilers, Stark Tower, Tony Stark’s death mention, Trans Male Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22832962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GooP_ie/pseuds/GooP_ie
Summary: The aftermath of Spider-man: Far From Home. What happens after Mysterio shows the world?Peter hurries to get to aunt May, but his mind keeps wondering what MJ thinks.
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker
Kudos: 55
Collections: Spider-Man Public Identity Reveal





	1. Direct action

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, in my works Peter Parker is always bisexual and trans, you can pry this headcanon out of my cold, dead hands.  
> If you see a spelling and/or grammar mistake, please notify me, even if you’re not entirely sure. Thanks!
> 
> Enjoy :)

Peter had fled the scene as soon as his face was shown on the giant screen in the middle of New York. Shit shit shit! If only mister Stark were here. He winced at the thought. Of course he wasn’t there to help him. He would have to find someone else. Ned? Would he still trust him? Would he have seen the news already? Of course he would have, the guy follows the Spider-Man news closer than anyone else. No he would contact his best friend later, assuming Ned hadn’t already blown his phone up. He would contact aunt May first.

Wait. There was one problem he hadn’t thought of before. Now that everyone knew his identity and thought that he was a murderer, May and Peter would no longer be safe in their house. They’d have to move and maybe get a new identity, where would they be safe? Peter felt himself starting to panic.

“Peter, your heartbeat and breathing levels are rapidly rising, may I recommend a breathing exercise?” offered Karen. But Peter hadn’t heard his suit’s AI. He was too focussed on getting to his aunt before anyone else did. Anything could happen. 

He didn’t even bother getting out of the suit in an ally next to his apartment, like he usually does, but went straight to the front door. He wanted to tell aunt May that it wasn’t his fault, that he didn’t do it and that they had to find an new place to live and that everyone knew, but when he arrived at the entrance of the building he saw that May was already loading her bags into Happy’s car. As soon as she saw him May opened her arms and allowed Peter to be pulled into a tight hug.

“It’s alright, it’s not your fault. I know it wasn’t you. It’s okay, you’re okay. Everything is going to be okay,” she kept mumbling in encouragement until Happy interrupted them with a soft cough.

“We’re taking you to Stark Tower and we’ll figure everything out from there. My people are already working on it.”  
Peter let himself be led to the backseat of the car. Everything was hazy. Like he wasn’t experiencing the situation, but it just washed over him. He changed out of the suit after some nudging from his aunt. He probably won’t be able to wear it ever again. Peter started to choke up at the thought of that. The spider-man suit that mister Stark had made for him. No, that Tony had made for him. Tony Stark. Peter would never be spider-man again. Ever. He wouldn’t be safe. He wouldn’t be able to talk to Ned anymore. And MJ. Oh my god. He was panicking again, his shoulders tight and brow knitted, so he buried his head in May’s comforting touch. She held him and whispered comforting words into his ear until she felt his body relax and Peter eventually fell asleep.


	2. Stark Tower

They arrived at Stark Towers later that day. No one had questioned them and Happy had taken the secret entrance, so they wouldn’t have to deal with reporters and such. They walked in and Peter looked around. He hadn’t been here since the Incident. That’s what Peter had started calling it. _The Incident._ He simply couldn’t call it by it’s name. Nor think about it to be honest. It was like doing that somehow made it more... real? He knew he should have gotten over Tony’s death already, and he had, sort of, but coming here brought all kinds of memories back. 

Happy escorted them to a coffee room with a comfortable looking couch and a glass table on the left and a mini-kitchen on the right. He told them he’d be back in a few and left. They waited there for a while and May had brought him some tea. She figured it was a better idea to just be there for her nephew and let him think things through before engaging, so she let him stare into nothingness for the next thirty minutes. Happy came back and him and aunt May discussed the matters of staying over at Stark tower. After a couple of minutes, Peter couldn’t take it anymore and had to _do_ something, so he went out and wandered around the halls of Stark Tower. 

He took his phone out of his pocket. 21 unread messages from Ned, 5 from Flash, a bunch from some random kids at his school and 10 missed calls from Ned. None from MJ. What would she be thinking? MJ was a smart girl, she’d know it wasn’t him that killed Mysterio, right? At that thought his phone rang. Caller ID: Ned. He picked it up. 

“Oh thank god you picked up, I’ve been worried sick about you! How are you Pete? Are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m okay, we’re safe, Happy picked May and me up from our apartment.”

“I was so worried! I thought you’d had a panic attack and crashed in a gutter or something, MJ said you disappeared—“

MJ. What if she really thought that he had killed someone. No, she wouldn’t. Would she?

”— and I was totally worried and I tried tracking your suit, but then I realised that we’d turned the tracking device off the other day after those bad guys hacked into the system and then I went to your house but you were gone and you weren’t picking up your phone—“

”Ned, it’s alright, I’m here now. Can you do something for me?”

Peter convinced Ned to hack into the TheDailyBugle.net or whatever that site was called and take the video offline. He also asked him to try and delete as many reposts of it as possible. Happy’s crew was probably already doing that, but the more on the job the better the result. Peter’s head hurt. All he wanted to do is just _disappear_. Run away from this world. Well not world, we know how that worked out last time. But he just wanted to forget all this ever happened. At least he knew that Ned trusted him and that he hadn’t been brainwashed like everyone else. Flash was probably celebrating. Oh he was loving this, wasn‘t he. His phone rang again, would it be MJ this time? He quickly looked at the screen, but it was, unfortunately, Flash. What a surprise. Peter blocked his number before he could call again. Why hadn’t MJ contacted him? 


	3. Still no messages

It had been a couple of weeks since his face appeared on a billbord in New York City. Things were going pretty good, if you left out the fact that Peter was now officially on the wanted list and that the reporters at the entrance of the Stark Tower were growing in numbers every day. They didn’t have proof that Peter or May were inside the building, but it was only a matter of time of course. 

MJ still hadn’t contacted him. He had considered calling or even texting her, but he had decided against it at the last moment every time. Just like now. His finger hovered over the call button. What would he say? “Hey MJ, it’s me, Peter.” No. She had him in his contacts, she’d know who would be calling. “Hey MJ, I just wanted to call you to tell you that I didn’t kill Mysterio. I love you. Bye.” But what proof did he have? None. They had tried getting the camera footage from the spidey-suit, but the suit’s memory had been damaged in the fight. The backup was on Tony’s personal computer, which was locked. No one knew the password except for Pepper, who was off-world and unreachable. 

Peter knew he still loved her, with all what he had. So that part was true. But would MJ still love him? What if she really believed that crap? What if she had given up on him? Maybe she just needed some time. Yeah that must be it. 

He turned off his phone and shoved back in his pocket. He’d contacted Ned the other day, be he didn’t know what MJ was thinking either. He didn’t even know where she was, as she had disappeared too. Maybe to protect herself from reporters and stuff. It had been hard for Ned as well and they had considered to bring him over to Stark Tower, but he’d refused saying he couldn’t abandon his studies and didn’t want to leave his family. Staying also meant Ned was in a great position to overhear rumors and further assess the situation. It was the perfect oppertunity to be The Guy In The Chair. 

“Hey kiddo, how’re you doing?” 

“Oh hi May, I’m, you know, I’m allright.”

”Still no luck with the girl?”

”Nah, she’s probably busy or something. She just needs some time.”

”Don’t work yourself up over it honey, as long as you know what you did and didn’t do you’re okay. If she doesn’t want to believe that, then that’s her problem. If she really loves you, she’ll believe you. Plus, MJ is a smart girl she’ll figure it out.”

”Thanks aunt May, that means a lot”. 

May kissed him on the forehead before walking on. 

“If you need me, you know where to find me!” she yelled over her shoulder. 

And if he didn’t know he’d just ask Friday. Friday had been his best friend the past couple of days. It gets kinda lonely in such a big tower with only like 2 people around whom you actually know. And Friday reminded him of mister Stark.

Peter took the elevator to the labs, where he had stationed himself with Tony’s computer. 

“Friday, please play ‘music to listen to when the world is ending’ on Spotify, thank you”. 

“Peter, might I inform you that the world is not ending. I have calculated that the world will end in approximately—“

”Yes thank you, just play Greenday’s radio then.” 

He’ll admit that Friday wasn’t the best conversation partner, nor Spotify master, but they made it work.

Peter spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how to bypass the self destruct on Tony’s computer. They hadn’t tried to actually log in before, because after asking Friday to scan the computer they found out that the computer would automatically self destruct if anyone got the password wrong. Mister Stark used to use voice-recognition to open his laptop, so he hadn’t had to worry about typo’s. Pepper probably did the same, but Peter’s voice on the other hand was probably not recognised. Especially after his voice had changed so much in the past couple months after The Incident. Thanks testosterone!


	4. MJ?

Okay he was starting to get worried now to be prefectly honest. He hadn’t heard from MJ in weeks. He knew she was super smart and had a tendency to investigate the facts for herself before choosing to believe things, but then again it had been _weeks_. Peter had a tendency to overthink every single thing, which was exactly what he was doing right now. 

He thought about what Michelle been thinking at that moment, in the middle of New York. She had said she didn‘t want to be picked up again and swung around the city so he already went wrong there. And to top it off, the universe decided to punish him by revealing his secret identity and blaming him of murder. What would she have thought at that moment? Had she thought it was true? Believed it right from the start? Or had it taken a while for it to sink in?

No, that wasn’t right, he wasn’t even sure whether she actually believed it. But what if she did? Would she sell him out to the cops? Tell everyone that he was spider-man? Wait, everyone already knew. But MJ could confirm it. No one had actual, rigid proof yet, as Ned wouldn’t admit anything. 

What if she told everyone all his deepest darkest secrets? She could. She was smart enough to figure them all out so why wouldn’t she after Peter had, in her eyes, lied to her all that time and not to mention _killed_ a guy. Coldblooded murder. After said guy had just saved the entire world multiple times. Gosh he was a horrible person. Sometimes Peter forgot that he didn’t actually kill Mysterio and that it was all mind games. This was all planned. Peter just didn’t know it yet. But aunt May knew and she would often remind him that he had done nothing wrong. But he couldn’t help but let his mind run away with him. Stupid intrusive thoughts. His mind tried to tell him that MJ, the girl he loved so dearly, would tell everyone that he snored while sleeping. She would have proof and everything on her phone. Peter didn‘t even know if he snored, but she would. She’d tell everyone that Peter was not actually that good in English and that he had to have extra lessons in the subject in order to pass. And above that, she would tell the whole world that Peter wasn’t born a Peter. His deadname would be all over the news, together with the fact that spider-man wasn’t spider-man all along, but actually spider- _trans_ man. Or spider-woman...

He had to call her. Ask her. Plead to her that she wouldn’t tell anyone. Peter’s head sank further into his arms. But would she pick up? 


	5. I never stopped

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” Peter said, not getting up from his position on the couch. He’d curled up against the couch this morning and had only gotten up to pee. He heard someone enter. 

“‘Sup nerd.” He spun around.

“MJ?! Oh my god it is you! How’d you get in?”

“Happy let me in,” she said. “Although he did look like he was going to kill me if I said anything wrong.” She chuckled.

“But what about the reporters?”

“I sneaked past them.”

“How?”

“I have my ways.” She walked over to him, kneeling at the couch. “What’s up my favourite spider-boy?”

Peter crossed his arms, facing her.

“Are, are you not mad at me?”

“No of course not you doofus, I love you remember. I just needed some time to examine the facts.”

“But the billboard—“

She placed her hand on Peter’s knee. “Peter, I knew from the beginning that you didn’t kill Mysterio. No offence, but you wouldn’t have the guts.” She smiled. “I’m kidding, but seriously, you’re not the type of guy to kill someone. Plus, I was distrustful of Mysterio from the moment I saw him. I spent hours analysing the video and gathering facts. I downloaded every single photograph, video and instagram story I could get my hands on, because I wanted to know how he did it. Mysterio, I mean. How he was able to use your words against you. I know what really happened, Pete. And I still love you. Hey, it’s okay.” She realised Peter had started to tear up and asked to hug him, to which he nodded.

They sat like that for a couple minutes, MJ stoking Peter’s back, until Peter broke the silence by saying, “So you never stopped believing in me?”

“I never stopped,” she said, “And I never will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They did figure out how to get into Tony’s laptop in the end. Peter was looking at a picture from him with mister Stark on Tony’s desk and realised that there was a post-it note to the back saying “I love you kid, PpArk3r3000”, the latter being Tony’s password.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want, let me know what you think :)


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